Relationship Goals

The other day, I voiced my opinion on Twitter regarding the increasingly popular topic of “relationship goals”.  If you hash tag that phrase on any social media site, I’m sure you’ll come across pictures/quotes of all kinds.  A lot of them consist of silly, funny, or sickeningly cute photos and sayings about couples. That’s all cool, I can dig that.  However, it’s becoming a bit alarming how these “goals” are growing more unrealistic and taking priority over actual life goals.

A friend of mine replied to my tweet with the perfect way to describe the phenomenon: “We idolize too often now instead of creating our own goals.” – @pringles1980

That’s the major concern here. I think it’s great to be inspired by what we see in others, but we’re beginning to lose sight of our own realities and opportunities. When used appropriately, social media can be an amazing thing. However, it can be destructive when we take what we see or read and insist on making the realities of others (or lack thereof) the standards for our own lives. Once we feel as though our lives don’t live up to the pictures we see every day, we assume that we aren’t where we should be in life. Talk about pressure!

I think that love is dope and I feel that relationships can be dope; but only when it’s genuine.  This cookie cutter shit has got to go. I have no problem admitting that I admire how fly Kimye is as well as how successful Jay and Bey are as a unit, but I don’t want to see every couple I know becoming exact (or at least attempted) replicas of them. When do we cross that line from admiration to worship? We see a perfectly captured kiss or a well edited photo of a couple and assume that those partnerships are perfect; we begin to strive to become replicas of what’s captured behind a lens.  Meanwhile, those people could hate each other’s guts for all we know.  All you know about a person is what they allow you to see.  We have no idea what goes on off camera.

So instead of putting all of that focus on unrealistic comparisons, how about we try to focus a little more on our own successes, romantic or not. Most of us desire the same general qualities in relationships; chemistry, fun, romance, loyalty.  These things come in all different forms, depending on the people. Reality check: you are not Beyonce and you aren’t married to Jay Z, so why are you expecting to have the same type of romance that they do?

Creating your own happiness is an amazing thing.  Figuring out what qualities we prefer in a person and what types of bonds keep us drawn to someone is an important part of figuring out who you are. I strongly feel that who you date or commit to is a direct reflection of who you are.

I suppose what I’m trying to say with all of that rambling is that it’s perfectly fine to admire and be inspired by certain qualities in relationships that we observe, but it’s so crucial to maintain sight of our own views of happiness and love.  No need to stress out because your man doesn’t write you songs and recite poetry all day. Relationships are what you and your partner build them up to be, not a compilation of dramatic Tumblr posts.